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  • Paintball around Austin

    Posted on March 29th, 2009 Alan No comments

    There are three primary fields I know of around Austin.  We’ve been to Hill13 the most because it is the most convenient to us.  I have not been to Texas Paintball but I know it is a much larger place and a more expensive than Hill13.  Some of David’s friends that have been there prefer Hill13. They particulary did NOT like crack house field at Texas Paintball.  They actually quit in the middle because they were too intimidated at being “trapped” in the crack house.  David and I visited Extreme PB years ago and liked it. We hope to return soon.  Here are comparisons of the three fields:


    Texas Paintball (No  outside paint allowed)
    Reviews: http://www.pbreview.com/fields/reviews/639/
    Price:     $41.95 (500 rounds) $15 field fee
    Paint:    $43 1000 rounds, $78 2000 rounds

    Hill13 (Outside paint for personal guns allowed)
    Price: $40 (500 rounds). $12 Field Fee, $8 all-day air
    Paint:  $17 500 rounds, $30 1000 rounds, $57 2000 rounds. They charge $8 for allowing you to use your own paint unless you previously bought it there.

    Xtreme Paintball (No outside paint allowed)
    Reviews:              http://www.pbreview.com/fields/reviews/2562/
    Price:                     $40 (500 rounds, includes NXE Pack (pods & belt) )
    CO2 Refill:           $19,12oz $2 20oz $5 all-day
    Paint:                   $35/$40 1000 rounds $60/$80 2000 rounds

    Other field not visited:

    Outlaw Paintball Field (Pflugerville)

  • So over Halo 3. COD4 is where it’s at.

    Posted on June 5th, 2008 Alan No comments

    David can’t get enough of Call of Duty 4.  I have to admit, it is quite compelling.  The campaign is fun, but I found playing multiplayer online was extremely difficult.  You get killed almost instantly!  I kept at it and I’m finally at the point where I’m doing well and really enjoying it.  I really like the team work aspect of Search and Destroy.  Nothing beats hearing “Comrade, you’re the last one. Complete the objective!” and actually managing to kill the last two opponents or detonating the bomb while David, who is playing along with me from upstairs, watches and encourages me through our chat session yelling YEAH!!! when I manage to win the game for our team.  Doesn’t happen very often but when it does….sweet!

    I read an interview with somebody involved with the game and he made two points I found very interesting. First, they took a great deal of time making sure that there were no completely “safe” spots where you could camp through the whole game.  Virtually every “good” spot has another spot from which you could get shot!
    The other point was that they wanted the game to be fair for a newbie when they found themselves up against an experienced player.  They felt if you had the “jump” on a guy, you should be able to win that fire-fight. And even though more experienced players may have better equipment it shouldn’t give them TOO big of an advantage.  That’s why the almost-instant kills in COD4 can make for a better online experience than Halo 3 which due to the shields, allows a better player to turn things around and easily overtake a novice that started out with the advantage.

    Prestige Modes Icons (Thanks Pavel)


    Points needed to rank and unlock weapons and perks.

    RANK (number/rank title/xp required)

    1 Private First Class 0
    2 Private First Class I 30
    3 Private First Class II 120
    4 Lance Corporal 270
    5 Lance Corporal I 480
    6 Lance Corporal II 750
    7 Corporal 1080
    8 Corporal I 1470
    9 Corporal II 1920
    10 Sergeant 2430
    11 Sergeant I 3000
    12 Sergeant II 3650
    13 Staff Sergeant 4380
    14 Staff Sergeant I 5190
    15 Staff Sergeant II 6080
    16 Gunnery Sergeant 7050
    17 Gunnery Sergeant I 8100
    18 Gunnery Sergeant II 9230
    19 Master Sergeant 10440
    20 Master Sergeant I 11730
    21 Master Sergeant II 13100
    22 Master Gunnery Sergeant 14550
    23 Master Gunnery Sergeant I 16080
    24 Master Gunnery Sergeant II 17690
    25 2nd Lieutenant 19380
    26 2nd Lieutenant I 21150
    27 2nd Lieutenant II 23000
    28 1st Lieutenant 24930
    29 1st Lieutenant I 26940
    30 1st Lieutenant II 29030
    31 Captain 31240
    32 Captain I 33570
    33 Captain II 36020
    34 Major 38590
    35 Major I 41280
    36 Major II 44090
    37 Lt. Colonel 47020
    38 Lt. Colonel 50070
    39 Lt. Colonel II 53240
    40 Colonel 56530
    41 Colonel I 59940
    42 Colonel II 63470
    43 Brigadier General 67120
    44 Brigadier General I 70890
    45 Brigadier General II 74780
    46 Major General 78790
    47 Major General I 82920
    48 Major General II 87170
    49 Lieutenant General 91540
    50 Lieutenant General I 96030
    51 Lieutenant General II 100640
    52 General 105370
    53 General I 110220
    54 General II 115190
    55 Commander 120280

    UNLOCKABLES (Unlockable/Rank #)


    Demolitions Class 2
    Sniper Class 3
    Create-A-Class 4
    Challenges 5
    Clan Tag 12
    Prestige Mode 55


    M9 0
    M1911 .45 16
    USP .45 0
    Desert Eagle 43
    Golden Desert Eagle 55


    Mini Uzi 13
    MP5 1
    Skorpion 4
    AK74u 28
    P90 40


    M60E4 19
    M249 SAW 1
    RPD 4


    W1200 2
    M1014 31

    Assault Rifles

    AK 47 4
    M4 Carbine 10
    G3 25
    M16A4 1
    G36c 37
    M14 46
    MP44 52

    Sniper Rifles

    SVD 22
    M21 8
    M40A3 3
    Barrett .50cal 49
    R700 34

    Perk 1

    C-4 x2 1
    Special Grenade x3 1
    RPG-7 x2 2
    Claymore x2 23
    Frag x3 41
    Bandolier 32
    Bomb Squad 14

    Perk 2

    Stopping Power 1
    Juggernaut 1
    Sleight of Hand 20
    Double Tap 29
    Overkill 38
    UAV Jammer 11
    Sonic Boom 1

    Perk 3

    Extreme Conditioning 1
    Steady Aim 1
    Last Stand 8
    Martydom 17
    Deep Impact 1
    Iron Lungs 26
    Dead Silence 44
    Eavesdrop 35

  • Jane loves Beer

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 Alan No comments



    …Always has

  • Daddy’s rules for dating

    Posted on April 2nd, 2008 Alan 1 comment

    Daddy’s Rules for Dating

    Rule One:
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

    Rule Two:
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

    Rule Three:
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

    Rule Four:
    I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

    Rule Five:
    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “early.”

    Rule Six:
    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Rule Seven:
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

    Rule Eight:
    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:
    Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:
    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine. But, before you even think of dating my daughter, you’ll have to fill out the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter.

  • Application for permission to date my daughter

    Posted on April 2nd, 2008 Alan No comments
    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
    accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
    and current medical report from your doctor.
    NAME_____________________________________  DATE OF BIRTH_____________
    HEIGHT___________  WEIGHT____________  IQ__________  GPA_____________
    SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________  DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
    BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
    HOME ADDRESS_______________________  CITY/STATE___________  ZIP______
    Do you have parents?               ___Yes  ___No
    Is one male and the other female?  ___Yes  ___No
    If No, explain:
    Number of years they have been married ______________________________
    If less than your age, explain
    A. Do you own or have access to a van?              __Yes  __No
    B. A truck with oversized tires?                    __Yes  __No
    C. A waterbed?                                      __Yes  __No
    D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?            __Yes  __No
    E. A tattoo?                                        __Yes  __No
    F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,               __Yes  __No
       pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
    In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
    In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
    In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
    Church you attend ___________________________________________________
    How often you attend ________________________________________________
    When would be the best time to interview your:
           father? _____________
           mother? _____________
           pastor? _____________
    Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers
    are confidential.
    A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
    B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
    C: A woman's place is in the:
    D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
    E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
    F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
    F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
    Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
    _______________________________      ________________________________
    Mother's Signature                   Father's Signature
    _______________________________      ________________________________
    Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                  State Representative/Congressman
    Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
    non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
    You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do
    not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
    cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
    notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
    (you might watch your back)

    To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy’s Rules for Dating.

  • Wait wait don’t tell me: Radio podcast

    Posted on January 30th, 2008 Alan No comments

    I stumbled across Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, an NPR show recently one Saturday morning.  Few shows makes me laugh outloud but this one does and I highly recommend it.  It’s actually pretty informative since they take news items of the day and make fun of them.  I’ve subcribed to the weekly podcasts in iTunes


  • Survivor China: James is a class act

    Posted on December 11th, 2007 Alan No comments

    Survivorchinajames Never have a group of folks been so scared of repercussions for going behind someone’s back when voting a trusted tribe member off.  James was physically strong, assertive, a force.  But I have to say James’  final words were the classiest I’ve heard.  He basically said he wasn’t mad, they did what they had to do,  it was a smart move on their part, and the  most impressive, he blamed himself for throwing the dice one too many times and not playing one of the TWO idols in his possession.

    Hats off to you James!

    I’d like to see a show where the “social” aspect is deemphasized and the “survivor” skills more emphasized.  The most worthy ones rarely win.

  • More of Andy’s work

    Posted on November 7th, 2007 Alan No comments

    Andy entered a short movie titled MEAT in the All Hallows Fest at DVXUSER, an online community for filmmakers.  The Kleymeyers have a cameo appearance at the end.  The story is about a guy that starts eating himself.  It’s not graphic but the images are disturbing, PG-13 at least.  I think he has a good shot at placing in the contest.

    Check out this music video he shot recently.  The song is pretty good (Wait in the Water by A.L.T.) and the video very professionally in my opinion.

  • My all time favorite comedians

    Posted on October 25th, 2007 Alan No comments

    Stephen Wright
    Gary Shandling
    Emo Phillips
    Richard Jeni
    Jeff Foxworthy
    George Carlin , YouTube Obitiary 
    Paula Poundstone (She is SO good on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me)

  • Sad tale of technology dependence

    Posted on February 2nd, 2007 Alan No comments

    Funny experince with passwords

    "…I wished I had never seen a computer before.  I remembered the Amish
    community just south of Champaign and wondered if they would take me in."